Full Reverse

I love watching fail videos.  Some fat guy slips on the ice and smashes his ice cream cone in his own face, trampoline accidents, someone getting whacked in the face at a pinata party, all comedy gold.  I eat it up; I can’t help myself.  I like this stuff partly because I feel a certain superiority to these people: What were you thinking, dumbass?  But mostly I like it because I can recognize my own failures in them.  I, too, have slipped on ice, wrecked my skateboard, fallen off a roof.  I, too, have dropped my ice cream, have tripped on...

Third Annual Last Post of the Year

So as has become tradition, I would like to take the last post of the year and review last year’s goals, and set new ones for the upcoming year. According to my last post of last year, I laid out the following goals: 1. Write a new book: DONE, though it wasn’t the four novellas idea that I thought it might be, instead it turned out to be a middle grade sci-fi adventure story because my boys kept bugging me to write something they could read. It turned out better than I could have hoped and will eventually be a...

Ralph Reviews A Whole Lotta Stuff All At Once: Part Two

Okay, so I’m not a reviewer, I have no desire to be a reviewer, and I suspect that my reviews don’t mean shit to anybody, even if I wanted to write them which I don’t. I hate writing reviews. However, I do owe several friends and colleagues reviews.  Since I genuinely have enjoyed their work and want to help share the word, and I know every little share makes a difference, instead of being a dick about it, I thought I would review a bunch of things I have run across recently as well.  Not new stuff, necessarily, but new...

True Believers

Outside, in the streets of this city, in the fields of this country, in the hearts of our citizens, they are lighting fires, they carry their gas and their torches, they are wearing their masks, they are wearing their uniforms and they are carrying their shields, they are painting people with the brushes of their choosing and they are calling them enemy.  The flames roar over long-dead tinder, old threats and grievances dug up, taken down from the attic, where they had sat long forgotten, and they come with their fires to burn all that we have built, and the...

Die Laughing

I want to die laughing. I imagine it, this big final guffaw, watching a video of someone falling down or being attacked by a goose, just this terminal laughter, a giggle or a wheeze, that’s the way to go out. We’re all dying, just some of us faster than others, some are torn away and some drift off, but the destination is the same for each and every soul on this beautiful miserable planet.  Whether it be by accident or murdered by time, we are all on the same ride. I want to be taken away by the Death of...